Joe's Ankle Surgery

I know I've been really behind on the blogs. I actually blogged about this on MySpace, but just haven't made my way here. Bad Kimi..Bad! Things have just been so hectic and now I'm taking care of two babies instead of one (Hailey and now Joe!). So here is the long and skinny on how Joe's ankle surgery went:

We left here a little late - figures. We got to the sixth floor of the hospital and they immediately stuck me in a waiting room with no toys, a hard tile floor, a TV with no channels (only a VCR and like 5 movies) and there was one other person there already waiting. Great..looked fun *sarcasm*.

They get Joe's paperwork all ready to go and they come and get me and we go to get him all dressed up. OMG He was SO cute in his little outfit.. I wish I'd taken a picture! A doctor came and wrote on his left ankle, making sure it was marked that that was the ankle for surgery (although I had already used a permanent marker on Joe's right ankle and wrote "OTHER ANKLE" on it. haha

We wait there for a little while and they stick me in the waiting room again - so fast that I had NO clue what was going on and wasn't even given the chance to say goodbye to Joe at all - which is absolute BULLSHIT. Anything could have gone wrong and they should have given us time together as a family. I swear.. I'm like the only damn person with common sense and a heart around here!

Joe left... and I didn't see him again nor hear if he was okay for another SIX HOURS. What was supposed to be a "three hour surgery" turned out to be much, much longer. Apparently, Joe had a lot of trouble during the surgery because his oxygen levels kept dropping really low and he would almost completely forget to breathe (well no shit.. he has SLEEP APNEA and I have known that for a while although he's never been officially diagnosed). But now.. a doctor has even told him "You have sleep apnea. You have got to get that sleep study done so we can get you sleeping properly again... no wonder you are always so damn tired." So anyways....

Around noon, a guy in uniform came into the waiting room and told me "Your husband is out of operation, and is being taken into recovery. That phone over there will ring and when it's for you, they will let you know where to go to be with him." First off.. that was the most poorly worded after surgery update I've ever heard. Okay.. so I've actually never heard one before, but still. No word on is he were awake, alive or anything... and telling me I could go "be with him" made me think my husband was dead and I was going to go claim the damn body. I was freaked out enough.. I didn't need that crap!

The phone must have rang 100 times.. the waiting room had filled up and people were in and out all day. The phone was never for me. At 2pm, another guy in uniform game in to talk to me... and even took me out of the waiting room to the reception desk because he couldn't figure out why I hadn't been taken to my husband (me either..). But the receptionist got REALLY huffy with me and told I needed to "be patient and go sit in the waiting room" and I was like "Whoah bitch..I didn't come out here on my damn own...he's the one who brought me out here!" I went BACK into the damned waiting room.

By this time, I'm in a panic. I'm thinking he's dead and they are rounding up a team to talk to me, getting me a therapist set up and all sorts of stuff and figuring out how they are going to tell a woman who has been sitting in a waiting room for eight hours with her daughter, that her husband died during an ankle surgery.

Thirty minutes pass, and a little old woman comes in and tells me to come with her and by this time, I'm so irritated I could hurt someone. But she opened the door... and there was Joe - groggy, but awake. So then I was really irked... THRILLED to see him, but irked. Why in the world was I bounced every which way if he was going to be wheeled past the waiting room!?

So they wheel him down the hall to Recovery Phase 2, where he's allowed to try to use the bathroom and to get dressed. This part made me realize that I want to be married to Joe when we're 100 years old. Helping him pull up his underwear and pants, put on his sock and shoe for him was pretty much the funniest thing to happen to me all day and it was certainly the first time I really laughed in several days. I get him all dressed and went down to get his prescriptions.

Now this is the weird part. The Army LOVES giving out Motrin. It's like the favorite drug. So of course, they gave us a friggin ton of it - probably more than he'll ever need. They also gave him MORE percocet (he's been taking that for WEEKS already for the pain lol) and then stool softeners since supposedly, percocet can make you constipated (um...he's been taking it for several weeks and trust me.. this hasn't happened! lmao).

Anyways.. I get back to him and for the first time...... EVER in our marriage, the Army wanted MY signature. I had to sign away because he could be deemed to incoherent to do it. So shocking. I swear.. if I needed my uterus removed, I would need Joe's signature. TriCare and the Army are so weird.

So I get him all ready to go, and need to go get the car. Great....this is the part I knew would suck. But I actually surprised myself. I got Hailey in her car seat and folded the stroller back up - stuck it in the back of the car. I got in and adjusted all of Joe's nonsense and turned the car on. Then I sat there for a second so I could remember how to drive (dear lord.. it's been at LEAST six months since I've driven lol). A slight push of the gas and I remembered how to drive and managed to get up to the front so Joe could get into the car.

Apparently, he doesn't like me driving. He was all concerned about how well I could see. I'll admit, I cannot see as sharply as possible right now, but I can totally see well enough to drive. Actually, it was a lot better than I was expecting. Road signs with small wording on them is my problem...but I didn't need those anyways!

I swung by Checkers and got us some lunch...it's what he wanted. Got us home, grabbed Hailey and took her inside to her bedroom so she would be safe and then ran outside for Joe. I helped him down the stairs outside and got him into his bed set up in the living room, then finished unloading the car. We had some lunch (actually, by this time it was like 5pm and was really more like dinner.. but neither of us really had eaten all day). I put Hailey down to sleep. She's STILL sleeping right now.

She was an absolute ANGEL. I swear, I couldn't possibly have been blessed with a better child. We were in that waiting room from 6am until 2pm - EIGHT HOURS. She cried ONCE. She was really, really tired and I didn't blame her. She had been up since 4:30am! She had about a 30 minute nap in her stroller. I laid it back and gave her a warm bottle and she passed out for a little while. She really needed it. Otherwise, we watched some of the movies in the waiting room and she WAVED at people all day. Well, her "wave" is more of a Hitler wave where she just holds her hand out at people. lol But still.. she gets the idea of what it's for.

Anyways... Joe and I took a nap - together for a while, and then I went upstairs to be closer to Hailey in case she woke up. Joe got up a little while later and was up and about - although he has a soft cast and is pretty pissed about it because it's so much easier to bump his foot and get hurt.

They gave him THIRTY days leave. I think that's bullshit. I thought the 6 weeks we were originally told wasn't enough... thirty days is insane. He thinks it's because they ended up not having to drill into him. I don't really care. He is going to have to learn how to walk again no matter what. But he's up and getting about on his crutches.

Labels: ankle, ankle surgery, army, blogging, crabby, dads, fathers, iraq, Joe, Kimi, military

The Most Important Blog I've Ever Written

So Joe and I hadn't really discussed his surgery much up until tonight. The word "surgery" scares the shit out of me, but deep down I figured it was no big deal. I mean.. it's just an ankle, right? Basically, all I knew is that they were going in his ankle, shortening some ligaments and some other medical stuff that I don't understand. But apparently, it's much bigger than that.. and that's the reason I'm still up at it's 3am.

Joe informed me tonight that they are putting him under. That terrifies me. I was under the impression that he'd get a local anesthetic.. maybe some laughing gas or something. I had no idea they would completely knock him out and put him under, or that he would have his leg open for three hours.

And then it occurred to me that today may have been my last full day with my husband. Sometimes, people don't wake up from that shit. I don't know how common it is or isn't.. and frankly, I don't care. A .01% chance is high enough for me and really threw a lot into perspective. For the past three nights, I've been yelling at Joe to stop snoring.. when I may never hear that snoring again. And maybe we should have spent today doing something special. We didn't.. and I can never get today back. That made me realize that I should treat every day as if it's special.. because it may be the last one we ever get.

So then Joe starts talking about how he doesn't have a living will - which made it all the more real to me that this is really going to happen and it's serious enough that he really should have a living will written out and that something could very well go very wrong. He wouldn't have even made mention of needing one if he didn't think it might be necessary.

And then I thought of Hailey, and watching her play with her daddy and how much I love watching them play and hearing her squeals of laughter.. and how Monday night may be my last chance to ever hear that again. And she loves her daddy SO much and I know he loves her - even if he sometimes has a hard time showing it.

I feel like I have a knife in my heart and someone is just twisting, stabbing and wrenching it repeatedly. I feel sick.. and dinner is in the toilet. I don't know what to think or do. I've never experienced this sort of thing before and will have no time to cope or prepare before Tuesday. I mean, I wish I'd known all of this sooner, although I doubt that would have done any good. How does one prepare for this sort of thing!?

I have no idea how I'm going to make it through Tuesday. I keep playing scenarios through my head and just bawling my eyes out. My mind is racing. I just don't know how I'm supposed to get through a day in a hospital with a near 10 month old and knowing that they are going to put my husband into a sleep he may never wake up from. I'd apologize for being dramatic.. but this is serious shit.

Great.. and now he's mad at me for being upset. Of course I'm upset! Why wouldn't I be upset!? I've never been SO worried about anything in my entire life. I'm afraid of having to wake up without him. I'm afraid of being 22 years old and having to bury my 26 year old husband. OF COURSE I'M FUCKING UPSET!!! Why in the world would I not be? He told me "don't worry about me". Uhh, too late!

And Hailey is having a bad night I guess. She's up for the fourth time. This isn't like her at all. She's so crabby tonight. I let her dance in her bed a while when she got upset. She wore herself out and went back to sleep. But now she's up again and crying. *sigh* I'm sure it could be worse... but I wish she hadn't picked tonight and I wish Joe had told me all of this shit sooner - although I don't know what difference it would have made.

Usually my blogs make me feel better. Not tonight. I'm gonna try to go sleep, although I doubt that's gonna happen. :(

Labels: ankle, ankle surgery, army, dads, family, fathers, Hailey, Joe, kids, Kimi, life, marriage, military, parenting, surgery

Why Men Make Terrible Mothers

Deep down, my husband is a loving, caring Father who would do anything for his wife and daughter. But on a day to day basis, he's seriously lacking in the parenting department. Now, I'm not speaking for all men, because I realize there are some wonderful single fathers out there. But my husband has absolutely no common sense when it comes to our child.

My pregnancy was spent with the normal belly hugs, tummy rubs and excitement of becoming parents. My husband constantly told me how excited he was for the arrival of our daughter, and told stories of everything he would do with her - from playing in the park, to watching Sunday morning cartoons together. But something happened when my daughter came into this world... My husband suddenly lost all common sense and clearly has no idea what parenting is about.

Fast forward to today. Today was supposed to be a day for me, and Joe was going to watch our daughter Hailey all day until he had to go to work this afternoon. This included everything - from diaper changes to feeding and playing with her. Little did I know that in the 9 1/2 months our daughter has been in this world, that my husband had paid no attention and hasn't the first clue when it comes to providing for her...not even for just a day. That scares me of course. I mean, I'd like to know that if I croaked tomorrow, my husband could keep our child alive. I honestly don't see that happening.

Here is how the conversation went today when it was time for Hailey's breakfast:

Joe: So um, where's her food?
(I hand him some apple sauce for her to have with some cereal for breakfast)
Joe: Oh, She eats THAT?
Me: No Joseph.. I've been eating it for her.
Joe: Well doesn't she eat formula for like a few more months?
Me: Yes, but not as entire meals any more...and hasn't for a couple of months now.
Joe: So like, do I put it in a bowl...or.....
Me: Good Lord.. just give it to me!

Don't get me wrong, I WANT him to learn! That's why instead of making Hailey wait longer for breakfast, I took and prepared her meal (with him watching) and went to go feed her. He was supposed to pay attention and watch..but of course did not.

I wager that bath time tonight is going to be quite interesting. I'd like to give my husband more credit, but I feel that I will have to stand close by to watch to make sure he doesn't accidentally drown the poor kid.

Labels: babies, dads, family, fathers, funny, Hailey, Joe, kids, life, parenting, pregnancy, rest and relaxation, womanhood, women

I'm Turning 22.

My birthday is coming up and I'm hitting the big ol' 22. Just five more days and we're there It's funny.. because when I was eleven years old, 22 seemed so ancient! And here I am, double that age now.

My birthday is throwing a lot into perspective for me. Staying at home with a child, running my CafePress store and being married, aren't exactly things I expected to be doing right now. Don't get me wrong..I LOVE my life. This just isn't what I saw myself doing.

I had plans. They are very different from my plans now..but I did have some. I imagine if life hadn't lead me down a new path four years ago, I'd still be in college working towards law school. Yikes. I shudder to even think of that. Law school is FAR from any plans or ideas I have for my life. Why in the world did I ever want to go to law school!?

What are the new plans? Well, I'm following a 5 year goal (it's more of a set of goals to accomplish in the coming years..not really a plan lol). Well, actually it's a 4 year plan since my husband and I came up with it a year ago. A lot of the plans hang in the balance. I have goals...I just have to wait for them. That's what makes being a military spouse so frustrating! The hurry up and wait is annoying. I want out of Georgia. I want my husband out of the military - two things that WILL happen.....it's just going to take a lot of time, surgeries, paper work, patience (something I have less and less of these days) and what have you in order to get there. I don't know if it'll happen in three months from now, or a year from now!

1. I want to go back to school. I don't even really need a degree. I don't care about that right now. I think that's why I wasn't very successful with college the first time. It was boring and I dreaded going. If I'm going to spend a fortune on education, I want to spend time learning what I want to learn. Right now, that's graphic and website design. Everything I know, I learned by tinkering around for the past 3 years. No one taught me any of that. If I can learn all that I know by trial and error the past few years, just imagine what I can learn in a class!

2. I want my own home - something that's probably at least a year away. I know I have to wait until my husband is out of the Army. That's a given. I know that we will immediately move up to Connecticut where he's from. We'll probably stay with some of his family for a little while until we're settled back into the state and he gets a job. I don't think we're going to bother with renting again. We've been renting our current town home for a year and a half...and it has definitely taught me the ups and downs of renting vs owning (owning coming out very much on top too).

3. We want more children. Actually, we tried to conceive for a little while, but some some physical issues weren't allowing for it (and still aren't). I'm not sure if we should even try for a while. I feel like this is a bad time..although really, is there a good one? I don't know when Joe's med board will be complete or when we'll be moving. Will I be pregnant then? Will I be waddling around 8 or 9 months along? lol What will Hailey think? If I were pregnant tomorrow, she'd be about 19 months old. Would she be ready then to take on the role of big sister? Would I be ready to take on the role of mommy to toddler AND baby? lol

All of these.... and I'm about to turn 22. lol Like I said.. not even close to the plan I thought I'd be following right now. Four years ago, I would have been content to just not be living under my parent's roof! haha I imagined I'd be living in my own apartment with a room mate or something right now. Well, I guess I kind of am..except I'm married to one of my room mates and the other one drools a lot.

I wonder what's to come for our family in the coming years. I wonder what my goals will be when I hit 25. Yikes!...25!? lol

Labels: babies, birthday, family, goals, Hailey, Joe, kids, Kimi, life

An Introduction

I suppose since this is my first post, it's only fitting to give a nice introduction.

My name is Kimberly Tewksbury, but I prefer to be called Kimi. I'm 21 years old (although, I've got a birthday coming up on September 14th). I currently live in the Fort Gordon area of Georgia. Yes, I'm an Army wife and exceptionally proud.

I grew up in a small area just outside of New Orleans - more specifically, St. Bernard Parish. No, I didn't escape "the flood" and fortunately, no, I didn't lose any family in "the flood". I've lived in four states so far: Louisiana, Colorado, South Carolina and Georgia. I'm hoping to make it a fifth state in 2008 (Connecticut).

I've been married for about a year and a half to Joe, a man who has been my hero in so many different ways. We got married sort of on a whim. We hadn't picked an exact date, planned on getting married and picked up the marriage license - and ended up married that same day by a Justice of the Peace.

Joe is 25 (although, he too has a birthday coming up on September 7th). He's been in the Army for just under 6 years (October marks his 6th and hopefully final year in the military). He grew up in Orange, CT. He's spent time living in Connecticut, Arizona, Texas, a 14 month tour of Iraq and Georgia since he was sent "home" injured in 2005.

Together, Joe and I have a darling baby girl named Hailey Renee. She was actually conceived on our honeymoon (if you can call it that). She was born on November 29, 2006 - 11 days overdue! She was quite the stubborn little girl (still is some days). She's currently crawling, pulling herself to stand (and trying desperately to take some first steps). She babbles up a storm, but doesn't really have any words yet - just some mega cute noises.

I'm a work at home mom. My husband and I decided long ago that we would much rather me be home raising our children instead of sending our children to baby sitters and day cares (not that there is anything wrong with those). We would end up spending the majority of another pay check on gas and paying for those things anyways..so I may as well be at home.

But living on one income can be tough sometimes. We do alright, but could use the extra "umph". So, I started Kimi's Kustoms - a CafePress store geared towards clothing for everyone in the family. It's going rather well considering I just opened the store June 30, 2007. You'll probably see updates on the store in this blog, some of my favorite designs, products, etc from my store (and others too!).

Our lives are a bit up in the air at the moment, so the extra income will be a big help down the road. My husband is currently going through the med board process. I'm hoping that's all over by next summer (one can hope and dream).

Joe and I are World of Warcraft players...him more so than I! We run a guild together on the Zangarmarsh server called Divine Illusion. I tend to let Joe handle doing all of that. He tends to have more time to play than I do since I'm usually the one tending to our daughter.

Well, I suppose that's about it. Stay tuned for more blogs!

Labels: cafepress, family, Hailey, introduction, Joe, Kimi, world of warcraft