Joe's Ankle Surgery

I know I've been really behind on the blogs. I actually blogged about this on MySpace, but just haven't made my way here. Bad Kimi..Bad! Things have just been so hectic and now I'm taking care of two babies instead of one (Hailey and now Joe!). So here is the long and skinny on how Joe's ankle surgery went:

We left here a little late - figures. We got to the sixth floor of the hospital and they immediately stuck me in a waiting room with no toys, a hard tile floor, a TV with no channels (only a VCR and like 5 movies) and there was one other person there already waiting. Great..looked fun *sarcasm*.

They get Joe's paperwork all ready to go and they come and get me and we go to get him all dressed up. OMG He was SO cute in his little outfit.. I wish I'd taken a picture! A doctor came and wrote on his left ankle, making sure it was marked that that was the ankle for surgery (although I had already used a permanent marker on Joe's right ankle and wrote "OTHER ANKLE" on it. haha

We wait there for a little while and they stick me in the waiting room again - so fast that I had NO clue what was going on and wasn't even given the chance to say goodbye to Joe at all - which is absolute BULLSHIT. Anything could have gone wrong and they should have given us time together as a family. I swear.. I'm like the only damn person with common sense and a heart around here!

Joe left... and I didn't see him again nor hear if he was okay for another SIX HOURS. What was supposed to be a "three hour surgery" turned out to be much, much longer. Apparently, Joe had a lot of trouble during the surgery because his oxygen levels kept dropping really low and he would almost completely forget to breathe (well no shit.. he has SLEEP APNEA and I have known that for a while although he's never been officially diagnosed). But now.. a doctor has even told him "You have sleep apnea. You have got to get that sleep study done so we can get you sleeping properly again... no wonder you are always so damn tired." So anyways....

Around noon, a guy in uniform came into the waiting room and told me "Your husband is out of operation, and is being taken into recovery. That phone over there will ring and when it's for you, they will let you know where to go to be with him." First off.. that was the most poorly worded after surgery update I've ever heard. Okay.. so I've actually never heard one before, but still. No word on is he were awake, alive or anything... and telling me I could go "be with him" made me think my husband was dead and I was going to go claim the damn body. I was freaked out enough.. I didn't need that crap!

The phone must have rang 100 times.. the waiting room had filled up and people were in and out all day. The phone was never for me. At 2pm, another guy in uniform game in to talk to me... and even took me out of the waiting room to the reception desk because he couldn't figure out why I hadn't been taken to my husband (me either..). But the receptionist got REALLY huffy with me and told I needed to "be patient and go sit in the waiting room" and I was like "Whoah bitch..I didn't come out here on my damn own...he's the one who brought me out here!" I went BACK into the damned waiting room.

By this time, I'm in a panic. I'm thinking he's dead and they are rounding up a team to talk to me, getting me a therapist set up and all sorts of stuff and figuring out how they are going to tell a woman who has been sitting in a waiting room for eight hours with her daughter, that her husband died during an ankle surgery.

Thirty minutes pass, and a little old woman comes in and tells me to come with her and by this time, I'm so irritated I could hurt someone. But she opened the door... and there was Joe - groggy, but awake. So then I was really irked... THRILLED to see him, but irked. Why in the world was I bounced every which way if he was going to be wheeled past the waiting room!?

So they wheel him down the hall to Recovery Phase 2, where he's allowed to try to use the bathroom and to get dressed. This part made me realize that I want to be married to Joe when we're 100 years old. Helping him pull up his underwear and pants, put on his sock and shoe for him was pretty much the funniest thing to happen to me all day and it was certainly the first time I really laughed in several days. I get him all dressed and went down to get his prescriptions.

Now this is the weird part. The Army LOVES giving out Motrin. It's like the favorite drug. So of course, they gave us a friggin ton of it - probably more than he'll ever need. They also gave him MORE percocet (he's been taking that for WEEKS already for the pain lol) and then stool softeners since supposedly, percocet can make you constipated (um...he's been taking it for several weeks and trust me.. this hasn't happened! lmao).

Anyways.. I get back to him and for the first time...... EVER in our marriage, the Army wanted MY signature. I had to sign away because he could be deemed to incoherent to do it. So shocking. I swear.. if I needed my uterus removed, I would need Joe's signature. TriCare and the Army are so weird.

So I get him all ready to go, and need to go get the car. Great....this is the part I knew would suck. But I actually surprised myself. I got Hailey in her car seat and folded the stroller back up - stuck it in the back of the car. I got in and adjusted all of Joe's nonsense and turned the car on. Then I sat there for a second so I could remember how to drive (dear lord.. it's been at LEAST six months since I've driven lol). A slight push of the gas and I remembered how to drive and managed to get up to the front so Joe could get into the car.

Apparently, he doesn't like me driving. He was all concerned about how well I could see. I'll admit, I cannot see as sharply as possible right now, but I can totally see well enough to drive. Actually, it was a lot better than I was expecting. Road signs with small wording on them is my problem...but I didn't need those anyways!

I swung by Checkers and got us some lunch...it's what he wanted. Got us home, grabbed Hailey and took her inside to her bedroom so she would be safe and then ran outside for Joe. I helped him down the stairs outside and got him into his bed set up in the living room, then finished unloading the car. We had some lunch (actually, by this time it was like 5pm and was really more like dinner.. but neither of us really had eaten all day). I put Hailey down to sleep. She's STILL sleeping right now.

She was an absolute ANGEL. I swear, I couldn't possibly have been blessed with a better child. We were in that waiting room from 6am until 2pm - EIGHT HOURS. She cried ONCE. She was really, really tired and I didn't blame her. She had been up since 4:30am! She had about a 30 minute nap in her stroller. I laid it back and gave her a warm bottle and she passed out for a little while. She really needed it. Otherwise, we watched some of the movies in the waiting room and she WAVED at people all day. Well, her "wave" is more of a Hitler wave where she just holds her hand out at people. lol But still.. she gets the idea of what it's for.

Anyways... Joe and I took a nap - together for a while, and then I went upstairs to be closer to Hailey in case she woke up. Joe got up a little while later and was up and about - although he has a soft cast and is pretty pissed about it because it's so much easier to bump his foot and get hurt.

They gave him THIRTY days leave. I think that's bullshit. I thought the 6 weeks we were originally told wasn't enough... thirty days is insane. He thinks it's because they ended up not having to drill into him. I don't really care. He is going to have to learn how to walk again no matter what. But he's up and getting about on his crutches.

Labels: ankle, ankle surgery, army, blogging, crabby, dads, fathers, iraq, Joe, Kimi, military

The Most Important Blog I've Ever Written

So Joe and I hadn't really discussed his surgery much up until tonight. The word "surgery" scares the shit out of me, but deep down I figured it was no big deal. I mean.. it's just an ankle, right? Basically, all I knew is that they were going in his ankle, shortening some ligaments and some other medical stuff that I don't understand. But apparently, it's much bigger than that.. and that's the reason I'm still up at it's 3am.

Joe informed me tonight that they are putting him under. That terrifies me. I was under the impression that he'd get a local anesthetic.. maybe some laughing gas or something. I had no idea they would completely knock him out and put him under, or that he would have his leg open for three hours.

And then it occurred to me that today may have been my last full day with my husband. Sometimes, people don't wake up from that shit. I don't know how common it is or isn't.. and frankly, I don't care. A .01% chance is high enough for me and really threw a lot into perspective. For the past three nights, I've been yelling at Joe to stop snoring.. when I may never hear that snoring again. And maybe we should have spent today doing something special. We didn't.. and I can never get today back. That made me realize that I should treat every day as if it's special.. because it may be the last one we ever get.

So then Joe starts talking about how he doesn't have a living will - which made it all the more real to me that this is really going to happen and it's serious enough that he really should have a living will written out and that something could very well go very wrong. He wouldn't have even made mention of needing one if he didn't think it might be necessary.

And then I thought of Hailey, and watching her play with her daddy and how much I love watching them play and hearing her squeals of laughter.. and how Monday night may be my last chance to ever hear that again. And she loves her daddy SO much and I know he loves her - even if he sometimes has a hard time showing it.

I feel like I have a knife in my heart and someone is just twisting, stabbing and wrenching it repeatedly. I feel sick.. and dinner is in the toilet. I don't know what to think or do. I've never experienced this sort of thing before and will have no time to cope or prepare before Tuesday. I mean, I wish I'd known all of this sooner, although I doubt that would have done any good. How does one prepare for this sort of thing!?

I have no idea how I'm going to make it through Tuesday. I keep playing scenarios through my head and just bawling my eyes out. My mind is racing. I just don't know how I'm supposed to get through a day in a hospital with a near 10 month old and knowing that they are going to put my husband into a sleep he may never wake up from. I'd apologize for being dramatic.. but this is serious shit.

Great.. and now he's mad at me for being upset. Of course I'm upset! Why wouldn't I be upset!? I've never been SO worried about anything in my entire life. I'm afraid of having to wake up without him. I'm afraid of being 22 years old and having to bury my 26 year old husband. OF COURSE I'M FUCKING UPSET!!! Why in the world would I not be? He told me "don't worry about me". Uhh, too late!

And Hailey is having a bad night I guess. She's up for the fourth time. This isn't like her at all. She's so crabby tonight. I let her dance in her bed a while when she got upset. She wore herself out and went back to sleep. But now she's up again and crying. *sigh* I'm sure it could be worse... but I wish she hadn't picked tonight and I wish Joe had told me all of this shit sooner - although I don't know what difference it would have made.

Usually my blogs make me feel better. Not tonight. I'm gonna try to go sleep, although I doubt that's gonna happen. :(

Labels: ankle, ankle surgery, army, dads, family, fathers, Hailey, Joe, kids, Kimi, life, marriage, military, parenting, surgery

Prepping for Surgery

I haven't blogged in a few days. My mind seems to be swimming lately and my ADHD is driving me insane. I try so hard to control it, but I'm having a horrible time concentrating on anything. Stress plays a major factor... and with my husband's ankle surgery coming up, I have plenty of that!

I don't even know what time the surgery is for. That's the Army for ya...give you a place and date, but no time! We won't know until tomorrow - which means getting a babysitter is completely out of the question. I have no idea how well Hailey will handle the hospital. I just don't feel right dropping Joe off and telling him to call me when they are ready to send him home. :( But at the same time, I can't spend the whole day at the hospital with her. That's not going to go well at all and will just make the whole situation more stressful.

I think Joe will come home Thursday at the latest. I'm not 100% sure. I just know that he's supposed to stay at least overnight. I'm gonna miss him SO much. Geez.. we've only really been apart for a couple of weeks total - and that was when we first started dating.

We have a lot to do, but Joe is pretty into sleeping and lounging around. I can understand that.. because he must be nervous. Hell..I'm nervous and I'm not getting my ankle cut into. I wanna get downstairs more living friendly. Joe will be sleeping on the pull out bed/couch for a while and I have no idea how in the world we're getting him upstairs to shower. He'll need to shower at least once a dang week or I may need to evict his stinky self. lol

I'll be doing a lot of driving and bill paying myself. Scary. I never pay our bills. Joe always does it. But there is no way he can go out and do those things in a cast. I'm not even sure how long he'll have the cast...but he'll have leave from work for six weeks so he can heal and learn how to walk again.

I was hoping we could borrow some money from someone and simply pay all of the bills way ahead of time so it would be covered, but I guess that isn't going to happen. At least most of them can be paid online.. which helps a bit.

Anyways.. please keep our family in your thoughts on Tuesday. This is the first of what will probably be many surgeries for my husband!

Labels: ankle, ankle surgery, army, blogging, dads, family, fathers, life, military, money

Crutches

My husband was given his crutches today for his surgery next Tuesday. Now, I've never had surgery before (except the eye surgery when I was 2 weeks old) and I've never broken anything before.. but it seemed sort of odd that they give him his crutches a week in advance. I don't know what he's supposed to do with them until then. I assumed they would give them to him in the hospital to go home with.

So I guess now, we have to get a almost 10 month old, my broken husband AND his crutches to the hospital and back. Bleh. I don't think this is going to be a pleasant experience.. although I guess that's why it's surgery and not vacation.

It'll be nice to have him home, but it also made me realize how much more I will have to take on around here since he'll be unable to walk. I don't mind really, it's just that in addition to normal house stuff, I will have to drive him to the doctor and whatnot for a while. He won't really be able to get on the floor to play with the baby or anything. :(

Yeah.. I'm pretty sure that this is going to suck.

Labels: ankle, ankle surgery, army, dads, life, military, surgery

Surgery Date Set

My husband just received a phone call, letting him know of the date for his ankle surgery. It's on September 25th. Wow..I really didn't think it would happen that soon. I've hard had time to mentally prepare for this, and I'm sure my husband is in worse shape.

I don't know why in the world I'm so scared about him getting this surgery. I don't think they are going to put him under or anything like that (but who knows.. I'm no doctor lol). But just the word surgery, scares the heck out of me.

He'll get between 21 and 36 days of compensation leave from work after the surgery. It'll be very nice to have him home, but I'm sure his Commander is going to be none too thrilled. I don't think anyone is real happy with him right now. My husband is classified as overweight - which the Army HATES. And to top that off, he's not allowed to do PT anymore - which pisses them off even more. Now, he'll be off work for quite a while so he can heal and learn to use his foot again. Just wait until he takes a week off for Christmas........oh boy, heads are gonna spin! lol But compensation leave doesn't count against his normal leave.. so oh well.

So, one surgery down and who knows how many to go. Before being medically discharged, they have to "fix" everything they broke (well, sorta.. since he will never be back to 100% and certain things will always be weak).

I hope it goes well and I really hope it takes the pain away for him.

Labels: ankle, army, surgery