The Holidays Are Coming!

With Halloween over, we have bigger holidays to look forward to. I'm super excited about Christmas. Our daughter was less than a month old last year on Christmas, so she really didn't get anything out of it. But this year, she's at least old enough to understand the concept of new toys to play with!

Sad thing is... Our tree is still up. Yes, you read that right. We really don't have room in our small town home for a full size tree, so we got one of those small trees about 3 feet high, decorated it with lights and small ornaments and then put it on an end table. It's been there ever since. I tried putting it away a few weeks after Christmas. Hailey was still a new born at the time, so I had little time to fuss with things like that. Once I gave in and tried to put it away, I realized I would never get it back in its box the way it came and soon gave up the battle! I guess at least this means less work for this year! (Hey, at least we took down the actual Christmas lights in the window!)

I'm gearing up for the holidays in my store. I'm super excited about it. I already ordered a Christmas shirt I designed for Hailey. I plan on ordering me one as well (or maybe the Definitely Naughty one instead). You check check those out here: Definitely Nice and Definitely Naughty. I love them.. I just haven't decided which one I want!


We're getting Hailey's birthday pictures done in a few weeks, and her Christmas pictures as well. I plan on designing some custom Christmas cards to send out to the family. That way, everyone can get a precious keepsake in the form of a card and everyone can have an updated picture of Hailey. I simply cannot afford to purchase that many pictures and gifts for such a large family! So, this will kill two birds with one stone. If you like this idea, message me at KimisKustoms@yahoo.com and I will be more than happy to design some holiday cards for you - whatever you'd like. I know how tight money gets around the holidays trying to cater to everyone!

What are you doing for the holidays this year? Leave a comment!

Labels: advertising, babies, cafe press, cafepress, christmas, clothes, family, gifts, Hailey, Kimi, marketing, money, parenting, pictures, stores

The Most Important Blog I've Ever Written

So Joe and I hadn't really discussed his surgery much up until tonight. The word "surgery" scares the shit out of me, but deep down I figured it was no big deal. I mean.. it's just an ankle, right? Basically, all I knew is that they were going in his ankle, shortening some ligaments and some other medical stuff that I don't understand. But apparently, it's much bigger than that.. and that's the reason I'm still up at it's 3am.

Joe informed me tonight that they are putting him under. That terrifies me. I was under the impression that he'd get a local anesthetic.. maybe some laughing gas or something. I had no idea they would completely knock him out and put him under, or that he would have his leg open for three hours.

And then it occurred to me that today may have been my last full day with my husband. Sometimes, people don't wake up from that shit. I don't know how common it is or isn't.. and frankly, I don't care. A .01% chance is high enough for me and really threw a lot into perspective. For the past three nights, I've been yelling at Joe to stop snoring.. when I may never hear that snoring again. And maybe we should have spent today doing something special. We didn't.. and I can never get today back. That made me realize that I should treat every day as if it's special.. because it may be the last one we ever get.

So then Joe starts talking about how he doesn't have a living will - which made it all the more real to me that this is really going to happen and it's serious enough that he really should have a living will written out and that something could very well go very wrong. He wouldn't have even made mention of needing one if he didn't think it might be necessary.

And then I thought of Hailey, and watching her play with her daddy and how much I love watching them play and hearing her squeals of laughter.. and how Monday night may be my last chance to ever hear that again. And she loves her daddy SO much and I know he loves her - even if he sometimes has a hard time showing it.

I feel like I have a knife in my heart and someone is just twisting, stabbing and wrenching it repeatedly. I feel sick.. and dinner is in the toilet. I don't know what to think or do. I've never experienced this sort of thing before and will have no time to cope or prepare before Tuesday. I mean, I wish I'd known all of this sooner, although I doubt that would have done any good. How does one prepare for this sort of thing!?

I have no idea how I'm going to make it through Tuesday. I keep playing scenarios through my head and just bawling my eyes out. My mind is racing. I just don't know how I'm supposed to get through a day in a hospital with a near 10 month old and knowing that they are going to put my husband into a sleep he may never wake up from. I'd apologize for being dramatic.. but this is serious shit.

Great.. and now he's mad at me for being upset. Of course I'm upset! Why wouldn't I be upset!? I've never been SO worried about anything in my entire life. I'm afraid of having to wake up without him. I'm afraid of being 22 years old and having to bury my 26 year old husband. OF COURSE I'M FUCKING UPSET!!! Why in the world would I not be? He told me "don't worry about me". Uhh, too late!

And Hailey is having a bad night I guess. She's up for the fourth time. This isn't like her at all. She's so crabby tonight. I let her dance in her bed a while when she got upset. She wore herself out and went back to sleep. But now she's up again and crying. *sigh* I'm sure it could be worse... but I wish she hadn't picked tonight and I wish Joe had told me all of this shit sooner - although I don't know what difference it would have made.

Usually my blogs make me feel better. Not tonight. I'm gonna try to go sleep, although I doubt that's gonna happen. :(

Labels: ankle, ankle surgery, army, dads, family, fathers, Hailey, Joe, kids, Kimi, life, marriage, military, parenting, surgery

Why Men Make Terrible Mothers

Deep down, my husband is a loving, caring Father who would do anything for his wife and daughter. But on a day to day basis, he's seriously lacking in the parenting department. Now, I'm not speaking for all men, because I realize there are some wonderful single fathers out there. But my husband has absolutely no common sense when it comes to our child.

My pregnancy was spent with the normal belly hugs, tummy rubs and excitement of becoming parents. My husband constantly told me how excited he was for the arrival of our daughter, and told stories of everything he would do with her - from playing in the park, to watching Sunday morning cartoons together. But something happened when my daughter came into this world... My husband suddenly lost all common sense and clearly has no idea what parenting is about.

Fast forward to today. Today was supposed to be a day for me, and Joe was going to watch our daughter Hailey all day until he had to go to work this afternoon. This included everything - from diaper changes to feeding and playing with her. Little did I know that in the 9 1/2 months our daughter has been in this world, that my husband had paid no attention and hasn't the first clue when it comes to providing for her...not even for just a day. That scares me of course. I mean, I'd like to know that if I croaked tomorrow, my husband could keep our child alive. I honestly don't see that happening.

Here is how the conversation went today when it was time for Hailey's breakfast:

Joe: So um, where's her food?
(I hand him some apple sauce for her to have with some cereal for breakfast)
Joe: Oh, She eats THAT?
Me: No Joseph.. I've been eating it for her.
Joe: Well doesn't she eat formula for like a few more months?
Me: Yes, but not as entire meals any more...and hasn't for a couple of months now.
Joe: So like, do I put it in a bowl...or.....
Me: Good Lord.. just give it to me!

Don't get me wrong, I WANT him to learn! That's why instead of making Hailey wait longer for breakfast, I took and prepared her meal (with him watching) and went to go feed her. He was supposed to pay attention and watch..but of course did not.

I wager that bath time tonight is going to be quite interesting. I'd like to give my husband more credit, but I feel that I will have to stand close by to watch to make sure he doesn't accidentally drown the poor kid.

Labels: babies, dads, family, fathers, funny, Hailey, Joe, kids, life, parenting, pregnancy, rest and relaxation, womanhood, women

I'm Turning 22.

My birthday is coming up and I'm hitting the big ol' 22. Just five more days and we're there It's funny.. because when I was eleven years old, 22 seemed so ancient! And here I am, double that age now.

My birthday is throwing a lot into perspective for me. Staying at home with a child, running my CafePress store and being married, aren't exactly things I expected to be doing right now. Don't get me wrong..I LOVE my life. This just isn't what I saw myself doing.

I had plans. They are very different from my plans now..but I did have some. I imagine if life hadn't lead me down a new path four years ago, I'd still be in college working towards law school. Yikes. I shudder to even think of that. Law school is FAR from any plans or ideas I have for my life. Why in the world did I ever want to go to law school!?

What are the new plans? Well, I'm following a 5 year goal (it's more of a set of goals to accomplish in the coming years..not really a plan lol). Well, actually it's a 4 year plan since my husband and I came up with it a year ago. A lot of the plans hang in the balance. I have goals...I just have to wait for them. That's what makes being a military spouse so frustrating! The hurry up and wait is annoying. I want out of Georgia. I want my husband out of the military - two things that WILL happen.....it's just going to take a lot of time, surgeries, paper work, patience (something I have less and less of these days) and what have you in order to get there. I don't know if it'll happen in three months from now, or a year from now!

1. I want to go back to school. I don't even really need a degree. I don't care about that right now. I think that's why I wasn't very successful with college the first time. It was boring and I dreaded going. If I'm going to spend a fortune on education, I want to spend time learning what I want to learn. Right now, that's graphic and website design. Everything I know, I learned by tinkering around for the past 3 years. No one taught me any of that. If I can learn all that I know by trial and error the past few years, just imagine what I can learn in a class!

2. I want my own home - something that's probably at least a year away. I know I have to wait until my husband is out of the Army. That's a given. I know that we will immediately move up to Connecticut where he's from. We'll probably stay with some of his family for a little while until we're settled back into the state and he gets a job. I don't think we're going to bother with renting again. We've been renting our current town home for a year and a half...and it has definitely taught me the ups and downs of renting vs owning (owning coming out very much on top too).

3. We want more children. Actually, we tried to conceive for a little while, but some some physical issues weren't allowing for it (and still aren't). I'm not sure if we should even try for a while. I feel like this is a bad time..although really, is there a good one? I don't know when Joe's med board will be complete or when we'll be moving. Will I be pregnant then? Will I be waddling around 8 or 9 months along? lol What will Hailey think? If I were pregnant tomorrow, she'd be about 19 months old. Would she be ready then to take on the role of big sister? Would I be ready to take on the role of mommy to toddler AND baby? lol

All of these.... and I'm about to turn 22. lol Like I said.. not even close to the plan I thought I'd be following right now. Four years ago, I would have been content to just not be living under my parent's roof! haha I imagined I'd be living in my own apartment with a room mate or something right now. Well, I guess I kind of am..except I'm married to one of my room mates and the other one drools a lot.

I wonder what's to come for our family in the coming years. I wonder what my goals will be when I hit 25. Yikes!...25!? lol

Labels: babies, birthday, family, goals, Hailey, Joe, kids, Kimi, life

Can You Stand It?

I love my daughter dearly, but she's driving me nuts with her standing! LOL The past two days, she's gotten a lot more into the pulling up to stand thing. The problem is, she doesn't know how to sit back down! Of course, I've tried to show her how, but she just gets mad. She's stubborn...like me. She doesn't want anyone to show her how to do it..but she gets upset if she's been standing too long and can't get back down.

I thought I was going to be smart. I moved the toy she kept using to pull herself up with, thinking she would stop doing it. I'm not trying to discourage her from pulling up onto things, but wish she'd at least use something she can't really get hurt on. But apparently, moving the toy didn't help. Instead, she simply used the wall. I don't think I could pull myself up palming the wall with my hands..so I don't know how she did it.

Kids do some amazing things... like the time I went downstairs to get Hailey's clothes from the dryer, only to come back to her crawled onto the bottom shelf of her changing table. Not a clue how she did it.. but it sure was funny. Note the devilish grin on her face. That's not the typical, sweet, angelic Hailey smile... lol

Labels: babies, family, funny, Hailey, pictures

An Introduction

I suppose since this is my first post, it's only fitting to give a nice introduction.

My name is Kimberly Tewksbury, but I prefer to be called Kimi. I'm 21 years old (although, I've got a birthday coming up on September 14th). I currently live in the Fort Gordon area of Georgia. Yes, I'm an Army wife and exceptionally proud.

I grew up in a small area just outside of New Orleans - more specifically, St. Bernard Parish. No, I didn't escape "the flood" and fortunately, no, I didn't lose any family in "the flood". I've lived in four states so far: Louisiana, Colorado, South Carolina and Georgia. I'm hoping to make it a fifth state in 2008 (Connecticut).

I've been married for about a year and a half to Joe, a man who has been my hero in so many different ways. We got married sort of on a whim. We hadn't picked an exact date, planned on getting married and picked up the marriage license - and ended up married that same day by a Justice of the Peace.

Joe is 25 (although, he too has a birthday coming up on September 7th). He's been in the Army for just under 6 years (October marks his 6th and hopefully final year in the military). He grew up in Orange, CT. He's spent time living in Connecticut, Arizona, Texas, a 14 month tour of Iraq and Georgia since he was sent "home" injured in 2005.

Together, Joe and I have a darling baby girl named Hailey Renee. She was actually conceived on our honeymoon (if you can call it that). She was born on November 29, 2006 - 11 days overdue! She was quite the stubborn little girl (still is some days). She's currently crawling, pulling herself to stand (and trying desperately to take some first steps). She babbles up a storm, but doesn't really have any words yet - just some mega cute noises.

I'm a work at home mom. My husband and I decided long ago that we would much rather me be home raising our children instead of sending our children to baby sitters and day cares (not that there is anything wrong with those). We would end up spending the majority of another pay check on gas and paying for those things anyways..so I may as well be at home.

But living on one income can be tough sometimes. We do alright, but could use the extra "umph". So, I started Kimi's Kustoms - a CafePress store geared towards clothing for everyone in the family. It's going rather well considering I just opened the store June 30, 2007. You'll probably see updates on the store in this blog, some of my favorite designs, products, etc from my store (and others too!).

Our lives are a bit up in the air at the moment, so the extra income will be a big help down the road. My husband is currently going through the med board process. I'm hoping that's all over by next summer (one can hope and dream).

Joe and I are World of Warcraft players...him more so than I! We run a guild together on the Zangarmarsh server called Divine Illusion. I tend to let Joe handle doing all of that. He tends to have more time to play than I do since I'm usually the one tending to our daughter.

Well, I suppose that's about it. Stay tuned for more blogs!

Labels: cafepress, family, Hailey, introduction, Joe, Kimi, world of warcraft